I purchased a bag of protein powder. And boy, was I in for a surprise!
So there I was, looking at this bag of protein powder.
The packaging looked great. Had sufficient amount of protein content per scoop. And it had less than 1 gram of carbohydrates and 0 sugar!
What more do you want from a bag of protein powder?!
So I went ahead, swiped my card, and purchased it. It was going to make me strong and muscular, I thought.
I went home, opened it, took a scoop full it, and put it in my shaker. Before the powder hit the bottom of the shaker, I knew my worst fears were coming to life.
Here was a scoop of protein powder so bad that I bet the manufactures went to the nearest stone quarry and shovelled rocks into it so I can see what I’m putting into my body.
You see, when you drink protein powder, you expect certain things. Like fine texture, essential amino acids, and taste… You want to feel reassured you’ll look like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. You imagine the muscularity, the strength, and the confidence running through every fibre of your body, even while wearing a double XL t-shirt.
Of course, I lowered my expectations on this a bit more. After all, I just purchased this from the nearby medical store that barely had people walking in even before the lockdown.
Now, of course, it would be just rambling if I didn’t walk you through what specifically wasn’t great about this specific product. So, let’s talk specifics.
First, let’s talk about the taste. It tastes like tonic that was mixed with 4 different powdered tablets and dosa batter. And you feel this ugly taste and texture all the way till it reaches the bottom of your stomach.
Then, there’s the texture and how well it mixes with water or milk. In my experience, most powders mix well with water after a minute of shaking. Some require you to go on for a little longer. This specific product required me to learn cocktail shaking techniques and still ended up looking like a lump of sand had been thrown into my shake.
Next, you have its appearance. You see, food, like many things in life, needs to be dressed up if you want someone to appreciate it in first sight. But this particular dish, even if it was only a shake, was nothing but a gooey substance that’d ooze out of a 3-headed monster’s mouth when it has its prey right where it wants them to be. In a scale ranging from “Maruthi 800” and a “Porsche”, the appearance of this shake would be the equivalent of an abandoned car in your street end with only three wheels, engine missing, and the seat cushion removed. Practically speaking, it’s the equivalent of metal scrap.
This bag of protein powder is perfect if you are looking for a reason to punish yourself with guilt and shame.
If you’re like me and just want a protein powder that isn’t made with sand, plastic, and serve their purpose, I’d suggest you look for them from another brand.